Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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