I can text with my tongue
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
