Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
