WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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