I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
