Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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