I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
