Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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