seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
being pregnant is like rehab
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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