what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
