the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
