Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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