if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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