dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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