she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
