I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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