Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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