I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
