Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
