There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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