It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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