then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
