I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
