Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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