i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
