what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
