i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
