My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
