do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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