You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
