i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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