So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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