If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
