oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
