they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
