Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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