Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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