We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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