Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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