this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
