I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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