Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
