Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
