Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
