what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
