I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
