have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
