Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
