that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
