ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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