I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
