I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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