I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
the raccoons are back...
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