great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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