worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
