went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
