wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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