You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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