my mouth tastes like poor choices
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
