can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
