He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
