Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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