My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
