I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
