i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
