I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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