Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
