Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
