I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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