found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
